21.

It's that time of year where I’m a tad more reflective, sentimental, and nostalgic than my usual self. Yup, it’s my birthday.

As I start to look back at 20, I’m taken back to my birthday last year. The vivid image of sitting across from my friend at brunch enters my head. I remember picking at my pancakes and telling them what I hoped for in my 20th year. Naturally, I used a cheesy metaphor which went something like “I feel like 19 was the year where I planted seeds in soil and I want 20 to be the year where the seeds start to grow.”

Now, I sit here and think.. “What did 20 teach me?” Well, that’s a monster of a question right there. The most important answer to share with you is this- I learned to take pride in what I’ve achieved. For the first time in a (very) long time, I was able to step back and admit to myself “Yeah, what I did there was pretty cool.” I find myself accepting victories and then asking “Okay, what else is there to be done?”

“Okay, what else is there to be done” is exactly what 21 is about for me. This mantra all came together just two weeks ago. Blissfully exhausted, I came home from a long day of shooting in New Jersey. I threw my luggage in my apartment and then grabbed my mail. To a lovely surprise, there was a postcard addressed to me from my dear friend who lives in Barbados. Pictured on the front is a gorgeous beach that almost looks extra terrestrial. The back of the card reads the following: “It’s been a great year… KEEP GOING!” In that moment, my heart turned to goop as a sentimental smile drew on my face with a single tear streaming down my cheek.

Everything seems so tangible. My already big, green eyes feel even bigger. I have the energy of a black friday shopper. Eagerly sprinting, wanting to grab as much as possible with such determination and excitement. 

So yes, it’s been a great year and I’m gonna keep going. I am beyond thrilled for the year in front of me. What great leaps are in store? Well, check back here a year from now.

20 was a year of firsts. Some of these firsts include:

• Getting trapped in a bathroom.

• Directing.

• Eating tuna tartare.

• Voting in a presidential election.

• Screenwriting. 

• Throwing an axe.

• Standing up for myself.

• Commercial modeling.

• Knitting a scarf (which has plenty of holes and missing patches.)

• Playing chess.

• Living by myself. 

• Shooting my first feature film.

• Listening to Erykah Badu.

• Hitting an average 8:40 minute per mile on my runs.

• Watching golf with my dad and actually enjoying it.