Fall 2021: Change.
It was obvious to examine the idea of change during the season that perfectly represents the concept. Change is reflected during this time as leaves change color and eventually fall off their branch. My curiosity to explore the topic of change occurred one late night in August. As I lay in bed trying to fall asleep, my mind swirled in its typical habit of thoughts and feelings. It was this particular night, I started to feel the new turning tides in my life. New opportunities, new people, new experiences, everything around me seemed ripe. I felt like Dorothy in the twister on her way to Oz.
Which led me to dissect the change around me. I wanted to explore the question of what a post-pandemic world looked like. I wanted to explore my new greediness with my desires. I wanted to explore how other people adjust. I wanted to dig for treasure and see what I could find.
I documented aspects of change from September through December. I took photos, wrote (a lot), and was lucky enough to pick people’s minds on the topic. Here’s what came of my 4 month journey.
This past fall season was the turning point in my life where I viewed myself as a woman, no longer a girl. Which is exciting and really quite terrifying at the same time– and that right there is exactly what change is. Exciting and horribly terrifying. Change is the most bittersweet thing to exist. Its consequences are permanent. It can have minor ways of reversing itself, but never in full.
There were wonderful changes that thrilled me this fall. Gaining New York residency, voting for the first time at a ballot booth, new relationships, personal victories that I didn't think I could accomplish. I came to realize that I am incredibly blessed with an amazing support system that always reminds me to keep pursuing. My inner child-like spirit was revived along with the expansion of my capabilities. There's a new confidence in who I am that blossomed this season.
Yet, there are many times in which change is nauseating and knocks the wind out of you. At times, it causes you to find peace falling asleep on your hardwood floor rather than your fluffy bed. Change makes you want to kick rocks and scream, then scream some more. You keep cycling the word “why” in your head. Trying to remind yourself that everything happens for a reason as you’re engulfed in drowning thoughts.
Change startles us- even if it’s a positive change. We can cry about it- being overwhelmed with new recognition and opportunities. Because when we’re knocked off balance, there’s that split second of panic as you flare your arms and look for something to grab onto in order not to fall.
In the Google Form I scattered throughout New York City and on social media platforms, there was one response I feel particularly resonates with my journey this season.
“I often look back at younger versions of myself, and think how different I am to that person, but also simultaneously how similar I am to that person. The essence of myself has remained the same since I was a child, and yet my personality, abilities, passions, accomplishments, and dreams have all morphed at a constant yet rapid rate. I like knowing this: that some parts of ourselves we can create, while other parts simply are.”
I was able to explore how change affects you, me, and the universe itself. No matter what you do- change will always remain stubborn. It sucks, but also is really neat. My final words to share with you are about what I've learned this fall. What I've learned is to thank change. The change around you is all purposeful and never-ending. Change is constant entertainment. It’s a topic that will never die.
I thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for taking time to share your perspectives with me. Each and every response is a gift. Below are selected responses to share with everyone.
QUESTION: Why is change important in our lives?
“…And I think the fear of it is what makes people want to stay the same. Humans want to be comfortable. It’s part of our natural state to want to feel safe. But when we open ourselves up to change, or when the universe forces it upon us, we discover so much.”
“Change is something to look forward to. I’ve never once looked forward to everything staying the same. All the biggest moments of your life are changes.”
“I feel like it helps us get used to the real world in a way? In a sense that nothing is forever.”
“To make us uncomfortable. Humans can thrive under stress or crumble under the pressure. It’s all about perception and attitude.”
“If life was stagnant then what would be the point of life if we aren’t constantly soaking up new experiences and feelings and if we aren’t constantly working towards becoming better/evolved versions of ourselves?”
QUESTION: What is your favorite thing about change?
“I enjoy both its constancy and the process of becoming more truly myself.”
“Finding out how much better things can be compared to before.”
“It makes you appreciate the phase of life you are in and the things you experienced before.”
“Adding a little chaos into my life forces me to take perspective and reevaluate my values, then make sure I’m in line with them.”
“When it’s better than I thought it was going to be”
“I think my favorite thing about change is looking back on the person you used to be and seeing how far you’ve come.”
“I think change is most fascinating in its smallest moments; when someone gets a new tattoo or cuts their hair, it somehow symbolizes a new chapter in their life. The leaves change from green to yellow to orange to red and brown and eventually to dust, until they return in vibrant green half a year later-that alone is AWESOME!!!”
QUESTION: Type below any other thoughts about change you haven't discussed yet.
“I hope this helps! I am going through my own change right now: moving to a new city. I’m scared (because I just did big move a year ago, which was hard) but I know the fear will be worth it. I’m so excited.”
“With change you can better yourself and others as well they will see your growth with the changes you make and will come to you for advice and how they can better themselves and spread change to others”
“Thank God there’s change. I can’t wait for all the big changes in life. Even the ones that seem bad.”
“I prefer slow change. I like familiar and comfortable. Change ruins it!”
“Change is important so we can grow and be better for ourselves, for the people around us, and the rest of the world ❤️“ - quoting mama”
“I think there is something to be said about types of change- good, bad, drastic or minute. When you change, you in turn change other people, which, in a way, makes even the smallest change kind of huge? It’s scary to think how much our actions affect other people.”